Being in a long distance relationship is tough, students from Cardiff share their experiences and hopes.
It was seven o’ clock in the morning, Emmy started her day from checking the messages, which were sent several hours ago from her partner in China. This has been a routine for her in the past seven years, while she studies in the United Kingdom.
“It has been a year and a half since our last reunion,” says Emmy, “and still three months to go for the next.”
Doing a long distance relationship is a brave decision. Since being apart is definitely tiring at times, even for couples with a relatively strong foundation.
Many people often wonder how to get through it?
Always stay in touch
“Communication is very important, since you are not with each other all the time,” says Emmy.
However, what make things harder is the time-zone difference. So setting a schedule that works for both sides is essential. Emmy has got used to staying up late for more than one hour every day to chat with her boy friend, who gets up one hour earlier to fit the time. “But it is worth doing so, since it makes me feel we are being part of each other’s life,” Emmy says.
Yang and her partner Luo are going through a similar situation. Like Emmy and her boyfriend, the couple have been apart for six months.
“The thing we have learnt through this experience is to make sure that you check-in at least once a day whenever possible. This daily communication makes me believe that no matter how hard my day is, he will always be there” Yang says.
It’s easy to encounter misunderstanding when you chat by messages since your partner can’t see your face or hear your tone of voice.
Conflicts are always inevitable for couples. When Liz shared her experience, she says, “Actually the reasons for those quarrels are often tiny and meaningless. If you are together it can be fixed easily.” But for people doing long-distance relationship, these meaningless reasons can easily lead to big problems because of misunderstanding.
So, rather than silent treatment, patience and positive communication are suggested by Liz.
Be considerate and express your love frequently
There are always times when someone feels that chatting over the phone and being online are far enough. But, what can you do to express your love and caring?
“I know I am not the only one feeling hard, it isn’t easy for my boy friend either. He also needs caring some times. We make best use of every chance to express our love and care. Every time he moved to a new place, I would help him choose and order household items online. I know he can do it himself, but the point is to let him know I care about him.”
Enjoy the time alone
The distance can help those involved to fight co-dependent relationships.
“I have more time to invest in myself and to become complete person without my boyfriend,” says Yang, “and this made me more confident both in myself and our relationship.”
“When we are busy with our own work and study, the amount of fights also reduce.” Maintaining social lives away help the couples to treasure their reunion.
Liz also stressed the necessity to development the ability to live independently, developing a new hobby or getting involved in some new experiences are all good ways to spend a quality time alone. “It always feels good to discover something new from your partner when you are together.”
Try to have a same goal.
All the things you work on during a normal relationship will need extra effort for in a long distance relationship. Stelios and his girlfriend certainly feels the strain. “It is important to have the same goal,” stressed Stelios.
“The wish to be together helps us to sail through the difficulties,” says Emmy, and she is going to get married this year and ends her long-distance relationship soon.